So this is the first Christmas I have had as a mother. My little boy turned 4 months old over Christmas & its been a blessing watching him learn & grow.
I love waking up to his smile each morning, knowing that that grin will wash away any worries that may plague me. The cooing noises he has been making let's me know he is trying to communicate with me, while making himself laugh at any noise he makes.
He was thoroughly spoiled over Christmas & watching him trying to open presents was fantastic. He loves the noisy toys but also enjoys sitting with me & reading a good book. We even made our own cards this year with his footprints, creating images of reindeer. Trying to get his print on the card was one of the hardest things my partner & I have had to face, it was fun though as paint went everywhere & we ended up with alien looking prints instead of the cute ones we had seen on the internet.
Life as a mother has changed me. I thought it would be something I was a natural at but you can never be prepared for the intense love you feel as you hold your tiny bundle in your arms after getting the shit kicked out of you for the past 9 months, the chronic heartburn, the frequent toilet visits & never being able to get comfy due to the unnatural looking bump you have protruding in front of you like something out of the alien films.
The way you are stared at by your bundle of joy as you pull silly faces or babble in baby talk, the heart stopping moment when you hear them cry for something more than food, the realisation that you can't always take their pain away instead knowing you have to provide cuddles on tap for reassurance.
Knowing you are the only one who can protect them, speak out for them, provide for them. It is a life changing existence, a humbling experience & one of the greatest things I've ever done. I wouldn't change my new life for anything.
It's the most rewarding things I could have ever achieved & I'm proud to now call myself a mother.