False blinkers

The other day I brought a nice glossy magazine & the freebie this month was: False eyelashes.

Pretty cool I thought only if though: 1.You love false eyelashes & 2. Don’t get a panic attack when reading the instructions. 

I really wanted the magazine so brought it. The eyelashes I would think about to do with later.

So when I got home I thought right let’s look at these things that are suppose to extend lashes to unbelievable length so that you probably can’t blink at all or shut your eyes...

I looked at the box...yes they came in a see through box thing...& noticed something that nearly made me pee myself. They actually labelled them! LEFT. RIGHT. I was giggling like some silly teenager. I have no idea why I found it funny to see these lashes labelled other than thinking why the hell do you need left & right on them when they are exactly the same in the box?

I started to read the instructions & panic set in. ‘Trim them down a bit to make them look less false’. Um excuse me but aren’t they false eyelashes?? Am I missing the point? Then it goes on to describe how to apply them. Now this is what scared the hell out of me. ‘Place some glue along your lash line & on the false lashes & carefully stick them down’. 

OMG a sudden thought came to me: what if you are getting ready for let’s say a girlie night out & you’ve had one or two glasses of wine as you pick out your outfit, put on your make-up etc & then you go to put the lashes on & heaven forbid your fingers get glued together or worse than that your eyes get glued together!

I had this vision of a woman hopping around unable to open her eyes, half naked & holding a glass of wine...probably glued in her hand! Okay that image is probably more for a Hollywood film - credit is due here! It was my idea first! – than real life but who’s to say it hasn’t or won’t happen?

Then what happens if you do successfully get them on without the above mishap & then get too drunk when you’re out & that once you get home you forget to 1. Take them off or 2. Take them off but put them back in the wrong labelled section in the box? 

If you don’t take them off do they slide of during the night so that you look freaky in the morning or do they slip a little & create problems trying to open your eyes up fully?

These things worry me when looking at one tiny innocent box with a left & right false eyelash in it. So my answer to this whole dilemma? Don’t use them. Instead I sent them off to my sister in law to be who’s friends might use them wisely & not have any mishaps sticking them on.